One Year

One year ago, yes, a year has flown by…  For many families the celebration surrounding a first birthday is extra special, that was true for our boys, but as we have celebrated our second year of life with our boys I am so very happy and thankful to celebrate the one year anniversary of Sam’s surgery.  “The Big Surgery.”  The one I am quite sure has taken a year or two off of my own life but, the one that saved Sam’s life.

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It’s funny how I am already forgetting the stress of the feeding tube, the lack of sleep, and constant worry over medication and dosage.  It’s only been a year, but so much has changed for Sam and us.  The boys are enjoying going to “Mother’s Morning Out” once a week and visiting the park for play time.  We are out and about in the neighborhood and always up for a new adventure.  The deck gets lots of usage and their cars have been driven miles and miles.  One year ago we were scared to leave the house for fear one of us would bring illness back to Sam.  This year there will be Halloween fun for the Butera boys and their Daddy while I hand out candy; so much fun for all of us.  One year ago Sam had only been home from the hospital for 24 hours on Halloween and we were still nervous and sleep deprived.  Just one year ago.

I recently read the blog of a family that could have been us.  Their story was our story in many ways.  At their 20 week ultra sound they were presented with the same results we were, “something is wrong.”  Unfortunately, their son did not live to celebrate his one month birthday.  He died of complications related to his shunt heart surgery.  Reading those words rocked me to my core.  I could not stop the tears from running down my face and found myself repeating over and over “that could have been Sam.”  I do not begin to analyze the hows and whys of how this crazy world we live in works.  I know we are happy to tell you how good we are all doing and how happy we are to be a family.  I know we will tell you how much we believe in the power of prayer and the strength of family and friends.  I know we are enjoying all of the wild days that living with two toddlers can bring about.  I know our house is a mess and the laundry basket is never empty.  I know that last one doesn’t matter very much.  What matters to us, really matters, is that Sam is a modern medical miracle and we are thankful every single day for the blessing of his life.